I try to outrun the inevitable and shut my eyes to my waking reality.
So I drug myself numb to the marrow, so unconscious, I could lay for a while, unreceptive to my truth.
But no matter how far I run, I can’t seem to hide from these shadows.
No matter where I go, I can’t seem to shake this dust off my shoes.
Slowly reality slips into my dreams, turning them bleak.
Looking back at my younger days,
I remember being told I was the future… that destiny was my friend.
My teacher always said, “just work hard and all your dreams will be achieved”.
Now I wonder if it was all a lie, or if maybe I did not work hard enough and the fault was mine.
But just know that I did try,
I gave it my all and stared long enough into the eye of life’s raging storm.
But then I got a taste of the worlds insanity, and blinked.
This isn’t the future promised me, this was never the dream I dreamt.
To find myself wallowing in the gallows of addiction and drug dependency, walking down the path of my untimely demise.
I see the end, but I am with neither the will nor the courage to avert it.
I am in dire need of help, but my feeble hands are so frail to reach out.
Emmalase.
Emmalase